Spider: Ya know, he’s a bleedin ejjit!
Coco: Wha? Who?
S: Yer man. Would ya look at him! Thinks he’s god almighty. Thinks all dem drivers can see him.
C: But shur, you can see him and I can see him. Wha’s de problem, like?
S: You wouldn’t see a problem if it chased you up a bleedin hill! I’m tellin ya now… He’s gonna be a dead problem right soon.
C: Sounds bad, Spider.
S: I mean like, how bleedin much does it cost to put a light on that bleedin bike?
C: My fella had a light on a bike once, but it got nicked. Never again, he sez.
S: I mean like, isn’t there all dem Road Safety Authority tele videos? You’d think he’d take heed?
C: Who? My fella? He wouldnt’ listen to himself!
S: No, ya dope. Yer man on da bike. Look, he’s gone now. Invisible as a bleedin dodo. I mean like, what is he, maybe 100 yards up the bleedin road, and we can’t even see his arse! Can you? He’s gonna get himself bleedin killed.
C: They gave it a new name. Did ya know that?
S: Wha? Who?
C: The powers that be figured out tha de Road Safety Authority wann’t workin, so they called it…
S: Too right tinn’t workin!. Tinn’t workin for yer invisible dodo up de road. What are they callin it now?
C: Ammm… TII. It’s something something Ireland. Stop the bikes. I’ll google it. I need a break. This cough is gettin to me.
S: I just can’t believe yer man woundn’t hang a few lights on the bleedin bike. Is he savin electricity or wha? I betcha he’s one of dem bleedin naturists.
C: No, your thinkin of somethin else there, Spider. Naturists is dem fellas what wears nothin. Ya couldn’t be a Irish naturist biker! Not with a wind like tha.
S: He’d be grand in da fog, shur, wouldn’t he? Nobody’d see him.
C: Got it. Google sez Transport Inftastructure Ireland. It’s very specific. Would he listen to that, I wonder.
S: Nah, tha way yer man is headin, the only thing he’ll listen to is a fuckin chapel bell. And he’ll be dead so he won’t even hear that.
C: Will we push on again? I want to be home for de spuds.
S: We will, girl. Maybe if we push on harder, we’ll catch that invisible dodo, and we’ll give him a little earful.
C: Ya know, I think he won’t listen to two oul wans. He’s feckin bionic.
S: We’ll sneak up, all quiet like, and scream like bejaysus. That might shake him up a bit.
C: Right, push on. I’m on yer wheel.
burkesbiking 